


Wisdom

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Implied Brian Kinney/Michael Novotny (Queer as Folk), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-28
Updated: 2004-12-29
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:50:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: â€œI never thought Iâ€™d say this but... why donâ€™t you cut the kid some slack. Give him a break, Brian. He loves you...â€�





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Feedback : Please, please, please. I live for feedback, feedback is my friend. But don’t be too harsh. Although I do like constructive criticism, please remember, fanfiction writers  
are people too.  
Special Thanks: Thanks to Jooles for the wonderful plot bunny. Thanks to the actors who give us viewers characters we care about and for giving us writers a basis for inspiration. There would be no QAF if it wasn’t for the actors who were daring enough to take part in this project. So thanks to all of you!  
Spoilers: OK, here’s the deal. I hate my cable provider and I don’t get Showtime, so I haven’t seen any of Season Four (I am anxiously await April 5 when I can buy the DVDs). All I know are the sorted spoilers I’ve read around the internet. So, while I’m writing this fic, please be aware that it may contain Season Four Spoilers, that I’ve heard on the general standpoint. Any in depth Season Four Spoilers are purely coincidental. So I’m going to say spoilers through Season Three with the possibility of Season Four  
spoilers:)

* * *

It was beginning to snow as Justin hurriedly made his way towards Brian’s loft. The smile on his face spread from ear to ear and even still threatened to grow wider. What a surprise Brian would be in for, Justin thought. He was back in Pittsburgh three days earlier than he had originally planned, anxious to see Brian and watch the look on his face. The look that said ‘what the fuck do I care that you’re back early’, but at the same time said ‘I’m so glad to see you’. 

Justin rode the elevator up to the sixth floor, bag still cast over his shoulder as he stepped off, walking up to the door. "Brian?" he called, knocking loudly on the metal frame. "Brian!" Justin could hear movement inside the loft, letting out a soft chuckle at what he could be walking in on. He smirked, pausing a moment before deciding to let himself in. He slid the door open. "Brian!" The smile on his face suddenly faded, the light in his eyes dimmed.

The apartment was practically bare. Brian couldn’t have been robbed, Justin thought. Not again. It wasn’t until he looked to his left and saw the uniformed men in the kitchen area that he began to read more into things. "Brian?" Justin called again.

Brian Kinney stepped out of the bedroom, bare chested, just hanging up the telephone and tossing it aside. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian said. "What happened to beautiful sunny fucking Miami?"

"I wrapped up early," Justin said, still clueless, wondering. "As much as it was fantastic, I wanted to come home."

Brian laughed. "That’s fucking stupid." he said. "You had another three days, you should have taken it." 

Justin could feel Brian’s words cut into him. He looked around again. "What are you renovating?" he asked. "Getting new stuff?" Justin smiled. "Did you get a new job or something?" 

"As a matter of fact," Brian said. "I did. I’ve got a firm crawling on their hands and knees and I’ve got everything that I ever wanted."

"That’s great, Brian," Justin smiled. "You can finally get all your stuff back. Move it all back in..."

"More like move it all out," Brian said, checking out one of the moving men as he passed. "The job is in New York."

"So we finally get to get the fuck out of the Pitts," Justin said. 

"No. I finally get to get the fuck out of the Pitts." Brian said. "Not we. My job, my future, my life. I’m going. Not you."

"Why not?" Justin said. "Brian, I want to go with you."

Brian walked over to the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of water, taking a long sip. "Well you can’t. You’ve got to stay here... finish school. That I’m paying for by the way."

"I could transfer." Justin said. "It’s not that hard..."

"We’re not some married couple, Sunshine," Brian said. "Everywhere I go you don’t have to follow. Or haven’t I taught you anything? We’re not fucking life partners and you’re not coming to New York."

>>>>>>

"This sucks," Hunter said. "He gets to go to fucking Florida and I have to wait tables."

Michael laughed, sitting at the counter in Liberty Diner, speaking with Hunter. "Just think," he rationalized. "Once Christmas rolls around, you’ll have plenty of money to buy all the gifts in the world."

"Why couldn’t I just help you out at the store or something?" Hunter complained. 

"Because you’re helping me" Debbie said, handing Michael over his breakfast. "And doesn’t that make you feel so much better."

Hunter rolled his eyes. "Oh tons," he said sarcastically.

"Hey. You watch your tone you little... Sunshine!" Debbie exclaimed suddenly, looking over at the door and Justin who had entered. "Sweetheart, come here. How was your trip?" 

"Fine," Justin said, plainly, monotone.

"Gee," Michael said. "Sounds like it. I thought you still had a few days before your flight back."

"I did" Justin said again, still emotionless.

"Wait till Brian hears," Debbie said, bringing Justin something to eat.

Justin sat beside Michael. "He knows," Justin said. "I was just over there."

"Christ," Hunter said. "Don’t sound so fucking excited." Michael shot Hunter a look. 

Justin waited a minute. "Well isn’t anyone going to tell me?" he said "I’m gone for a week and Brian gets a new job..."

"Hey," Michael smiled. "Brian got a job. That’s great."

Justin looked at him. "You mean you don’t know?" he said. Michael invited the information. "Brian got a job at a firm in New York. His apartment is empty and he has a flight for Friday night."

"Tomorrow?" Michael said in shock. "He never said anything.... to any of us."

"He was just going to fucking leave... without telling any of us. He was going to leave before I even got back..."

Debbie shook her head. "Fucking Brian," she said. "Oh Sunshine."

Michael’s jaw was dropped as he shook his head in disbelief. This couldn’t be. There was no way that Brian would just leave without saying anything. He stood from his seat.

"Honey?" Debbie said as Michael put his coat on. "Michael, where are you going?"

"To get to the bottom of things." Michael said. "I have to figure out what the fuck is going on."


	2. Wisdom

Michael’s mind raced. A thousand thoughts spun through his head, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t for the life of him, come up with a reason why Brian would just leave Pittsburgh without telling anyone. Let alone, why Brian would leave Pittsburgh without telling Michael himself.

The ride up the six floors to Brian’s loft seemed to take forever, but it gave Michael a chance to structure how he was going to confront Brian. He had the ideal words plastered across his brain, but when he stepped off of the elevator and knocked on the door to the loft, he couldn’t control his words once Brian opened the door.

"What the fuck are you thinking?" Michael said. 

Brian raised his eyebrows. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he said moving aside allowing Michael to enter.

"Come on Brian," Michael said. "I know you’re smarter than to think Justin wouldn’t find his way over to the diner and tell us everything. Were you really going to just leave? I can’t believe that you’d do something like that. That’s why I’m here. I need you to tell me that it’s not true."

"It’s not true," Brian said very simply

"This is the first I’m hearing of it," Michael said. "You were just going to get on that plane and fly to New York and not tell any of us you were going. You weren’t going to tell me, you weren’t going to tell Justin. Shit Brian, you weren’t even going to wait until he got back from Miami."

"I got a job. I’m going to New York." Brian took a seat. "So what? He’s not my boyfriend."

"Bullshit. You wanna know what I think?" Michael said, watching as Brian stood before him.

"No," Brian said plainly. "But since when has that stopped you? What exactly does the great Novotny think?"

"Can you stop being such an asshole for one minute and just listen to me." Michael paused, getting to his feet. "You and Justin have been through a lot. I never thought I’d say this but... why don’t you just cut the kid some slack. Give him a break, Brian. He loves you..." Michael was silent for a second before finishing his statement. "And you love him."

"Yeah, well what the fuck do I know about love!" Michael’s jaw dropped slightly with Brian’s exclamation. Brian lifted his hand, pushing his hair back off his forehead. "Christ, Mikey, you more than anyone know what it was like at my house when we were kids. The only demonstration of affection I got from my old man was with his fists and Mom always stayed well out of it. I can’t even remember one time she actually gave me a hug, or made sure I was OK."

"Brian, you’re not your father." Michael said to him. "Just because he was... a son of a bitch, doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to be loved. It doesn’t mean that you can’t love somebody else." Michael stepped closer. "We all love you, Brian. I love you." Michael smiled. "Always have."

"Always will." Brian finished. 

"See Brian, even if... you don’t say it, I mean... the actual words, we know you love us. You show us all in your own way. Like... the time you gave Teddy a job when nobody else would hire him. Or when you helped Emmett to stand up for what he deserved when he was still ‘Fetch Dixon’. I can’t even list all the stuff you’ve done for me since we were kids." Michael paused. "You love Lindsay so much that you helped her have a kid. You were selfless. You were human. Christ Brian, you saved Justin’s life." 

"I didn’t do shit for him" Brian said. "Don’t you fucking get it, Mikey? The people who are important in my life... I either end up fucking up their lives or they fuck up mine. You’re my best friend. How many times have I said it? I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something...." 

"...something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid." Michael finished Brian’s sentence. "I don’t think that’s the way it is. You sat in the hospital for three days after Justin was bashed, waiting to find out if he was gonna be OK. If you didn’t give a shit about him, then why did you sit there? Why did you stay?" Brian didn’t answer him. "For once in your life Brian... let yourself be happy."

"I am happy," Brian shot. "I’m going to New York. I’m getting the fuck out of the Goddamn Pitts and I’m gonna take the city by storm."

"And you think that he’s gonna be OK just watching you leave?"

"He can’t come with me." Brian said

"Why the fuck not?" Michael said. "He’s not a fucking baby, Brian. He’s what... almost twenty-one? I think he’s more than capable of making his own decisions."

"I care about you guys... about Gus, and I’m leaving him behind."

"Justin is in love with you. It’s a different type of love, Brian. You took him in when his father went off on him for being gay. You let the guy kick your ass in the middle of Liberty Avenue for Christ’s sake. And what about when you thought that Justin and I were fucking around with eachother when we started working on Rage? You were jealous Brian."

"I was not jealous."

"You were. You pissed all over everything. Or have you forgotten?"

"Mikey, what are you doing?" Brian said. "You’re not gonna change my mind about leaving."

Michael shook his head. "I’m not trying to." he said "I’m trying to change your mind about leaving him. I’m looking at you right now and I can see what you want to tell him. I know you want to say to him what you’ve never said to anyone your entire life. Tell him the truth. Tell him the real reason you wanted to leave him here. Tell him that you love him. Just tell him. He’s not going to turn on you. He’s not gonna hurt you... because he worships you, Brian. He fucking loves you."

"He thinks he does." Brian turned and headed towards his practically empty bedroom. He pulled out his suitcase, continuing to toss his clothes in. "He knows nothing."

"Yeah well he learned from the master, right?" Michael said, now standing in the doorway. "You need somebody to tell you that you’re loved and then you just call it bullshit and walk away. It’s not bullshit, Brian."

"Mikey." he looked back at the smaller man. "I’ve gotta finish packing."

"Brian..."

"Mikey."

Michael was silent for a moment. "At least let Justin say goodbye." He shook his head. "Somebody’s gotta know that you didn’t just drop off the face of the Earth."

"Oh come on Mikey." Brian said. "I was gonna tell you."

"What, from the plane?! Eighteen years and you packed up your whole fucking loft without even picking up the phone to call. You climbed through my bedroom window six nights a week when we were kids. We knew everything going on in eachother’s lives. I always ran to you and you always ran to me. About everything. What happened?"

"Things changed."

"What changed, Brian?" Michael said. "What changed? I’m still the same. So are you."

"How can you even fucking say that Mikey?" Brian said. He paused. "Go home, Michael. Go home to the professor and the kid... and your perfect fucking little family. Let me pack so I can get the hell out of here." 

"There you go with the bullshit again." Michael took a deep breath. "I’ll go but first let me say this." Brian didn’t move, his back facing Michael as the smaller man crossed in front of him, looking into Brian’s eyes. "You may not think so, you may not want to, but we all love you. That never changed. It didn’t change when Ben and Hunter moved in and it never will. You’re my best friend, Brian and I want you to be happy. And... if moving to New York and working out there is what you want then I say go for it. But I know that Justin.... I know how being with him makes you feel and whether you’re here, or New York, or London... I just wish you would just... for one second, ask yourself if you could really be all that happy without him with you." Brian just stared at Michael, unable to say a word. "Have a safe flight, Brian." Michael lifted himself onto his toes to give Brian a soft kiss on the cheek, waiting for a moment before heading for the door.

Brian heard the loft door slide shut, staring down at the suitcase that lay open atop his bed, and then casting his gaze aside at the boarding pass that sat on the bedside dresser. He wasn’t going soft, he thought to himself. That was the worst thing he could think of. He shook his head. He had to convince himself. No apologies, no regrets. It was the way things always were. It was the way things had to stay. He continued tossing his clothes into the bag. He was going to New York.


End file.
